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Showing posts from July, 2010

Reminders...

I'm not liking the constant reminders of being sick. That I should be in the hospital right now getting a treatment to give me some strength. Only I can't have the treatments because they had a very grave effect on me. I don't like being reminded I'm sick when I do dishes and drop them. I don't like being reminded I'm sick when I try to speak and my voice is too weak to sound normal. I don't like being reminded I'm sick when I can barely sit up in the evenings and now the mornings, too. I don't like being reminded I'm sick when I cannot breathe properly due to a weak diaphragm muscle. I don't like being reminded I'm sick when I get up to walk across the room and it hurts so bad because my muscles are so weak that my bones are too heavy. I plain just don't like it!

Ok...now that I got that off my chest, I am not angry at God about it. I know we live in a world where there is sickness and that's the devil's way. But, a…

You Tell on Yourself...

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You tell on yourself by the friends you seek,
By the very manner in which you speak,
By the way you employ your leisure time,
By the use you make of dollar and dime.

You tell what you are by the things you wear,
By the spirit in which you burdens bear,
By the kind of things at which you laugh,
By the records you play on the phonograph.

You tell what you are by the way you walk,
By the things of which you delight to talk,
By the manner in which you bear defeat,
By so simple a thing as how you eat.

By the books you choose from the well-filled shelf:
In these ways and more, you tell on yourself.

---Unknown

The Home She Made...

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What a traditional woman did that made her home warm and alive was not dusting and laundry. Someone can be hired to do those things (to some extent, anyway). Her real secret was that she identified herself with her home. Of course, this did not always turn out well. A controlling woman might make her home suffocating. A perfectionist’s home might be chilly and forbidding. But it is more illuminating to think about what happened when things went right. Then her affection was in the soft sofa cushions, clean linens, and good meals; her memory in well-stocked storeroom cabinets and the pantry; her intelligence in the order and healthfulness of her home; her good humor in its light and air. She lived her life not only through her own body but through the house as an extension of her body; part of her relation to those she loved was embodied in the physical medium of the home she made.

-Cheryl Mendelson’s, Home Comforts (an encyclopedic A-Z resource on homemaking how-to’s)

Better...

My breathing is better this morning, but I have some lingering weakness. I can live with that. :) I'm so thankful for every breath that the Lord gives me. I'm always thankful for having a simple life that allows me to admire His creation and have time to ponder on His word. The days that are hectic don't allow for that and that is why I don't much care for those sorta days. ;) I'm a country girl who likes the slow pace of the country life. Give me lemonade, a porch, and a cool breeze and I'm happy as a clam. :) Love to spend my summers like that. There is work to do of course, but we shouldn't neglect the pace of nature. The trick is not to pile on too much in a day. Just do one big thing at a time. Such as, don't do your canning one day along with all the laundry, yard work, and baking. Do it separately. :) I think I'm all done canning for this season. In the fall, I'll be canning some applesauce.

Today I'll be making some gummy…

Prayers please...

I woke up with weak lungs today. I am having a really hard time breathing. It's difficult for me to not be short of breath this morning just walking about the house. The muscles around my lungs have decided to not work properly thus causing the difficulty. I just have a lot to do today and I need to be able to breathe to do it. ;) I would appreciate any prayers for strong muscles today and not to have another set back in my neuormuscular disease. Thanks. :)

Busy Monday...

It started with volunteering at church this morning for a couple hours. Then it was home to make lunch. Hunter has been stacking wood all day....part of a lesson to be learned about working for your money and not just getting it given to you. He is saving for an ipad and has sold quite a bit of his stuff to get some money for it. Getting money seems easy to him and he has no qualms about wasting it. Once again at dinner last night he ordered dessert and didn't finish it. This is after he ate supper before church so he wouldn't order a meal and waste it. So Ryan decided to make him pay for the dessert and also learn how to earn money by the sweat of your brow. Making money doesn't come easy. He needs to learn that his dad works in this sweltering heat for that dessert he wasted. So, he is stacking the wood and is not complaining. Train up a child...

After lunch I was off to the dreaded grocery store. I was at 4 different ones and it took over 2 hours. Ugh. BUT,…

Learning the Secret of a Homemaking Heart....

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What is it, that makes a christian woman a happy, home-loving wife and mother?

I wonder if, part of it perhaps, is this... as a woman setting out to become godly home-maker, she is encouraged to 'look to the ways of her household' and so, she begins the happy work of creating a haven of order and beauty. Her duties encompass many tasks, both mundane and creative, and she discovers that all are necessary for the making of a pleasant home.

She does not aim to reproduce the sterile image of perfection from some home decorating magazines. Neither is she slavishly mimicking the staged room settings of non-existent homes, found in the junkmail brochures. In fact, there may be nothing at all in her abode which bears a designers label to be eyed with envy.

No..a godly homemaker seeks items of much higher value to embellish her precious home!

Her guests may have trouble recalling the pattern on her sofa or the color of her curtains, but they will, however, clearly remember the atmosphere o…

Summertime...

It's been busy around here lately. Been canning green beans and I think we got enough for a while. ;) Working around the yard and getting the wood pile stacked. We still have more to stack. We'll get there eventually. :)

I have 10 chickens that will be ready to lay the beginning of August. One of them has already started laying. Cute, little, tiny eggs...

I love this time of year...just don't like the humidity. I know it will break soon and it will be even better.

Starting to get things ready for Hunter for homeschool. He'll start Sept 4th. I love the anticipation of learning. :)

We were blessed with lunch today from our worship pastor. It was nice getting to know he and his wife better.

Hoping to get some more done this week. I've got some sweets to make, more beans to can, and cleaning. I'll be relaxing and reading in there somewhere. ;) The cool thing is I can talk to God during all those things. I pray to be blessed with less physical pain this we…

I'm ok...

Praise His holy name!

The past few days I have sorted through and confronted my sadness. The thing is I thought I had dealt with my grief of losing the relationship with my dad. I guess I just thought I did. It just came upon me hard the other day and it was so heavy on my heart. The past few days I was able to allow myself to cry deeply, remember all the good times, allow God to comfort me, and let some of the pain go. I will always have a bit of pain because the relationship is not active, but I am able to deal with that now. I am thankful for the encouragement of others, even my dad, that truly helped me remember truth and to listen to Him.

My heart is softer and my mind is more focused. God has lifted some of the pain and has replaced it with patience. He has given me trust to wait upon Him while we wait to see how this whole thing plays out. He has given me the assurance that it's ok to love him as a dad in my heart and mind until it no longer has to be that way.

He ha…

Taking a break...

from blogging the rest of the week. I know this may sound contrary to my last post, but I just need a break to get myself together. I'm in such turmoil right now I can hardly think straight. I have a lot going on in my life that hurts so much. I miss my dad so much it physically pains me. My heart aches from memories that keep coming back of good times that I fear will never be again. I cry, still. I just love him so much. I have no idea why I am having such a hard time of it, but the suffering is overwhelming to me right now. I just miss him so. My mom is just keeping herself busy with drama and hurting others that that is hurting me, too. My health is getting me down. I'm anemic again and I am so utterly exhausted that it saddens me. I just feel too weak to carry anymore suffering, but I know He can help me endure.

I just need to refocus, again. I am begging God for His peace to come upon me to help me shed some of this awful ache. I know He will, but it seems l…

Assurance of Hope...

I came across this today and it was much needed for me. Isn't it neat how God provides what you need to hear to help you focus back on Him? This post spoke to my heart and I hope it brings you encouragement also.


Have you ever been afraid that there will be a time that you cannot emotionally bear what you are being asked to endure? Have you ever been at the place where you honestly thought your suffering (in the body, or emotionally) was too much and that you were unable to make it any longer without relief?
Sometimes we fall back on the mistaken belief that what is happening to us is intended to destroy us, and we rarely think about it destroying us spiritually. We hanging on to the material, earthen vessel part thinking this suffering is going to take our life away and “then what?”
Another mistaken belief is that God is just not around while we are being pummeled by our circumstances or that He cannot react fast enough to preserve us or our faith. In reality…

Her Gentleness...

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Then her gentleness is another part of her qualification for duty. She should have, must have, really has, influence and power of impulsion, if not compulsion. Were she utterly powerless , she could do nothing. Her influence, however, is a kind of passive power; it is the power that draws rather than drives, and commands by obeying.

Her gentleness makes her strong.

How winning are her smiles, how melting her tears, how insinuating her words.
Woman loses her power when she parts from her gentleness.
It is this very yielding, like the bulrush
lifting its head after the rush of water which it has bowed,
that gives her a power to rise superior to the force of circumstances which,
if resistance were offered, would break all before them.

She vanquishes by submission.

How necessary gentleness is to the fulfillment of her mission
in handling the young and tender spirits of her children,
in training the first delicate shoots of their infant dispositions,
and for directing the feelings of th…

What a day...

I am completely and utterly exhausted tonight...and I still have dishes waiting for me. It has been a really long day. I went to church this morning to do my volunteer stuff and then they took us to lunch. My son went on a youth group trip with the church and it was cut short due to rain so I had to go back and pick him up. Then the captain was off early due to the rain and he wanted to take me to the store for groceries, but had to get mower stuff before doing that. I have just now sat down. These kind of days are really rough on me. I'm just not wired for all the running around. :(

Having a thousand things on your mind while doing all the above results in extreme exhaustion, slurred speech, and hardly able to sit up. I think I will sleep like a baby tonight and may even sleep in in the morning, you know like 7:30 lol. I have been in prayer for several things and I think the spiritual warfare is taking it's toll. I know satan just loves for us to be so exhausted tha…

Ponderings...

It's been a long week...I'm wiped out and in desperate need of relaxing tonight. I'm glad I can with the captain and Hunter. :) This morning, bright and early, I was out cleaning the chicken coop. They are so funny when they get to run around in their new bedding. :) Then I took Hunter to horseback riding lessons and while he was out riding, I got to groom a horse named Chief. He was a gentle guy about 15 yrs old. :) I liked it, but was fearful of being stepped on. I don't think I would have been if I had on boots...

That grooming allows for some pondering and as I brushed him I thought about life and love and God and what He wants of His children. I know He stirs my soul to living a life of simplicity and love. He command forgiveness, not for the other person, but for ourselves and for Him. Forgiveness really doesn't have much to do with the other person, except they are the ones involved. But, it's more about the relationship between you and Christ…

Letting go and letting God...

I first heard that statement when my family wasn't sure if I was going to make it or not back in 2001...I was in the hospital for 2 weeks from a bad reaction from a treatment. I was so weak and in so much pain I was begging to die. I thought that was the only way to be delivered from it since it wasn't happening on earth. Ryan's grandma told me to "let go and let God." I prayed once again to be delivered one way or the other from my weakness and pain, and the next day, I was. I woke up with no pain and continued to get stronger after that.

I am finding myself not letting go and letting God in my everyday life. I tend to worry, which is not trusting Him. I get fearful for the future and that affects my present. I want to be able to let go like I did back then. But, it's hard. You want to be in control because you don't want to lose something or miss something. I know it doesn't please Him to try to hold on to things when He wants us to let go…

Just another day...

It's a hot one today folks...

The humidity is horrendous and it just amazes me how my husband can roof in such weather. He is a strong man and I admire his work ethic.

I'm going to run to some thrift shops today and hope I find something. :) Getting ready to put a pot roast in the crock pot for supper tonight. Then later on I may make some gummy bears for Hunter.

I have a lot to do today, but this heat is just zapping my motivation...or it's the visit I just had with my mom...hard telling.

Lord, give me the strength to endure the things in life that hurt. Help me to find Your thumbprint in everything...

Frustrations...

Our riding mower is on the fritz...again. :( We think it's the carburetor...we may have to rebuild it or get a new one...ugh. I was going to borrow someone's push mower to mow our acre and a half, but instead we borrow the captain's grandpa's mower. Well, that one decided not to run today after we got it home. The captain and I have been outside all evening tearing it apart and cleaning it and tuning it up...finally got it running. Good shoulder to shoulder time. ;) So I'll use it tomorrow to get our yard done. In the meantime, we are trying to figure out what to do with ours...who to take it to fix or if we should attempt to do it ourselves...just kinda frustrating.

It's hard to not think God is being unfair when so many unfortunate things are happening in our life....my mom has decided to move away right after she asked my brother to move here and live with her for a while. She has been going out of state for dates that I didn't know about...dangero…

Questions...

Do you think we ever totally get over things? Or do you think there will always be a little piece of our past or present that sticks with us? I know God delivers us from many things, but when He does, what He delivered us from is not always forgotten. So in that aspect I would say we carry a little piece with us. I'm sure there are times when He delivers us from pain, heartbreak, sadness, fear, or doubt that we don't carry a little piece with us from that, but a little peace instead. I have been delivered from the above, but I'm not sure it's a total deliverance. Because often the next day, whatever we were delivered from the day before, such as pain, soon returns. So instead, I think we are equipped to deal with the things that we are temporarily delivered from by being given peace. That is not temporary. It stays with you. We are equipped with His love, which is also not temporary. It is eternal...I am so thankful for having been equipped with such things.…

The Art of Domesticity...

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Here is a lovely virtue that women are designed for. It isn’t in found in a list of virtues like some of the others we have discussed, but women are charged to be domestic, to be capable homemakers.

Domestic means simply, home-loving; enjoying household affairs; a devotion to home and family life.

Domesticity encompasses everything that has to do with managing a home.Women need to be trained to be domestic, just like they might be trained for any other job. Though women are designed for this, it does not follow that we know everything instinctively. It is a calling, not a hobby. The older women are to teach the younger women to be homemakers (Titus 2:4). That word maker is an important one. God is our Maker and He has given us the great privilege of making things in imitation of Him, whether it is a poem or a home. Women are given a glorious responsibility in homemaking.

Homekeeping refers to the nuts and bolts of managing a home, and homemaking has more to do with the intang…

Our getaway...

It was an absolutely wonderful getaway...Our room was wonderful. It was a Mexican theme room. It had a hot tub in the room that had cactus around it and had different colored lights in it. In the middle of the room there were two VERY comfortable recliners with a fountain in between them. Above that was a starlit ceiling. It was neat. It was black with lots of little twinkling lights. The pillows were Temperpedic pillows and were the best pillows I've ever slept on. Oh, and the shower was as big as our bathroom. It was amazing! It had 3 shower heads. We had a wonderful dinner at an Italian restaurant where the service was amazing as well as the food. We were able to reminisce about an Anniversary dinner we had there with friends. Good times.

It was all very relaxing. The captain made sure we had time to grieve, refocus, reconnect, refresh, and relax. We were able to talk about life, growing closer to Christ, and desires for the future.

I am so blessed that my husband …

Getting away...

The captain and I are going away for an overnight getaway tomorrow. I just some time to relax and refocus on the basics. I need to let go of a lot of stressful things, and be refreshed. It will be nice to have one on one time with the captain and put more of our focus back on Christ.

I pray everyone has an enjoyable, productive weekend. Enjoy time spent with family this holiday weekend. We only have our earthly years to build relationships before we get to enjoy them in glory. :)