I'm ok...

Praise His holy name!

The past few days I have sorted through and confronted my sadness. The thing is I thought I had dealt with my grief of losing the relationship with my dad. I guess I just thought I did. It just came upon me hard the other day and it was so heavy on my heart. The past few days I was able to allow myself to cry deeply, remember all the good times, allow God to comfort me, and let some of the pain go. I will always have a bit of pain because the relationship is not active, but I am able to deal with that now. I am thankful for the encouragement of others, even my dad, that truly helped me remember truth and to listen to Him.

My heart is softer and my mind is more focused. God has lifted some of the pain and has replaced it with patience. He has given me trust to wait upon Him while we wait to see how this whole thing plays out. He has given me the assurance that it's ok to love him as a dad in my heart and mind until it no longer has to be that way.

He has refreshed my desire for simplicity during this time. To keep focused on Him during trials knowing that He won't always protect us, but will always comfort us....always. I have a renewed joy in Him that no matter what my circumstances are, I am content, not with the situation, but in Him, because He is in control.

I am thankful for the wisdom my dad has given me in the past. I was able to remember what he said about things and it has helped me in my walk with Christ and has helped me in life in general. I really covet his encouragement and not just for godly things, but the encouragement for me just being me...

"Faith," wrote C.H. Mackintosh, "raises the soul above the difficulty, straight to God Himself, and enables one to stand still. We gain nothing by our restless and anxious efforts...It is therefore true wisdom, in all times of difficulty and perplexity, to stand still -- to wait only upon God and He will assuredly open a way for us."


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