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Showing posts from October, 2010

It's my birthday...some things I've learned these 35 yrs

When I was young I learned that life wasn’t always easy.  I was a bit thin and pale and was quickly made fun of being called albino girl, chicken legs, etc.  Of course that hurt.  But, it made me realize that life wasn’t always kind.  I would lay in my bed at night and talk to God.  A God I hardly knew.  One that I created characteristics about in my mind.  He was a kind person, compassionate, and loving.  I would picture Him seated on a throne and me bowing down at His feet pouring my heart out to Him.  I would ask for forgiveness for the bad things I did.  He would reach down and take my hand and lift me up from bowing at His feet and say, “Come my child” and He would seat me on His lap and hug me.  I would bury my face in His chest and cry in amazement of such a loving, caring God.  He would smile.

Since those childhood days, I lost track of Him for a while.  I grew up.  I forgot about our nightly talks.  I met my husband and we were busy getting to know one another, getting marrie…

Halloween...no thanks.

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Where did it begin? It began over 2000 yrs ago with people known as the Celtics. They lived in what is today England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales. This was also the beginning of the Celtic new year, a time to give thanks to the sun god for the harvest. What is it all about? Halloween, All saints day, All hallows eve or All souls day is a festival. It was held to honor the Samhain the so called "lord of death". It was a Druidical belief that on the eve of this festival Samhain, lord of death, called together the wicked spirits that within the past 12 months had been condemned to inhabit the bodies of animals. It was a pagan belief that on one night of the year the souls of the dead return to their original homes, there to be entertained with food. If food and shelter were not provided, these evil spirits would cast…

Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread (gluten free)

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1 2/3 c gluten free flour blend
3/4 t baking powder
1 t baking soda
3/4 t salt
1 t pumpkin spice
1/2 t cinnamon
1/2 c canola oil
1/4 c brown sugar
1/2 c white sugar (I use natural raw sugar)
2 eggs
1 c pumpkin
1/3 c water
1 t vanillla
1 c dark chocolate chips (I use Ghiradella dark)

Mix wet ingredients and add dry. Stir in chips.  Bake in 9 x 5 pan at 350 for 60-70 min or until toothpick comes out clean.  This was yummy!

"I Am Woman Hear Me Roar"--The Feminist's Battlecry

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This post is from "A Wise Woman Builds Her Home" and I wanted to share it with you....



Not long ago I taught a woman's Bible study on the topic of Deception and Discernment and wanted to share a bit of that with you:
One of the most infamous and well-known quotes of the century for woman:
"I am woman, hear me roar!"
The world has colorfully painted a picture of what women should look like in today's world. Images are splashed upon the trendy magazines with pictures of women in suits, holding briefcases in heels, dropping off their wee ones to daycare before the stop off at Starbucks for their daily hit of java. Celebrity magazines have their starlets portrayed as loud, scantily clad seductresses with instructional articles encouraging us how to dress and be like them--and who can ignore the mommy magazines that are shouting from the rooftops about how we can have it all.
But I am here to share with you that this is not true. It is lies. It is deception

Ahhhh....baking

I'm feeling fairly well this morning and I am going to do some baking! :)  I still can't drive yet and the captain hasn't been to the store this week, so I wasn't able to get any blueberries.  I was really wanting to make some blueberry muffins because I just had a hankerin' for them.  So, instead, I'm going to make chocolate chip pumpkin bread.  I have what I need for it and it's fall after all. :)  If it turns out good I'll post a picture and a recipe. :)

It was really nice to get out of the house yesterday.  It seemed strange at first, all the noises, people, etc, but I quickly got used to it again.  I am excited to get back to church Sunday after missing a couple.  It will be nice to worship with fellow believers again.  It's also my birthday that day...:)

Here is a piece from the book "Streams in the Desert" that I liked today...

"He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." Malachi 3:3
"The old refiner never leaves…

All done at the doc...

Had to wait over an hour to see her...ain't that just the way...lol.  She inspected my incisions and said they looked good.  The one on the right has a bit of swelling under it from the internal stitch, but she said it should get better in a month or so.  I did have to have an xray to make sure my right ureter wasn't damaged during surgery.  Please pray with me that it's not...I really don't want another surgery to fix it.  I am allowed to BAKE again. :)  I'm just supposed to not overdo it...that will be hard, but I'll do it because I want to heal properly. :)  Thank you for your continued prayers for me and my family.  They are much appreciated.

I'm breaking out!

Of the house that is. :)  My follow up appointment for the surgery is this afternoon. :)  This will be the first time I have left the house in 13 days...wow.  I still have pain and soreness and I'm hoping that she will tell me that I am healing properly.  I'm wondering if she is going to lift some restrictions.  I haven't been able to cook/bake this whole time and I would love to bake some blueberry muffins.  It is hard to stand in the kitchen at the stove right now though.  Lots of pressure on my stitched areas...

Ryan and Hunter have done a good job allowing me to heal these two weeks...unfortunately, I have at least 4 more to go.  I will take it easy though.  I am actually enjoying this time of rest.  I think I've needed it for a long time.  It's been good for me.

I want to encourage those who are going through hard times...We all are facing something in our life, whether it be health, finances, strained marriage, broken relationships, etc.  God gives us strengt…

Hope thou in God...

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Cast Down
"Why art thou cast down, O my soul" (Ps. 43:5).
Is there ever any ground to be cast down? There are two reasons, but only two. If we are as yet unconverted, we have ground to be cast down; or if we have been converted and live in sin, then we are rightly cast down.
But except for these two things there is no ground to be cast down, for all else may be brought before God in prayer with supplication and thanksgiving. And regarding all our necessities, all our difficulties, all our trials, we may exercise faith in the power of God, and in the love of God.
"Hope thou in God." Oh, remember this: There is never a time when we may not hope in God. Whatever our necessities, however great our difficulties, and though to all appearance help is impossible, yet our business is to hope in God, and it will be found that it is not in vain. In the Lord's own time help will come.
Oh, the hundreds, yea, the thousands of times that I have found it thus within the…

Feeling better...

I am having less pain today. :) Yay!  My energy level has been pretty good this whole time, which makes it harder to rest and not do anything.  But, my husband has been very adamant about me healing properly and won't let me do anything (not supposed to yet)  I'm glad for his patience and help during this time. :)

The weather lately has been just beautiful! It is going to be 80 again today.  I'll take that for now. :)  There was a pretty mist in the field again this morning.  It's a still morning and very peaceful...

It's been interesting the different countries that stop by my blog...The UK, Botswana, Estonia, Australia, Canada, Argentina, and Brazil, just to mention a few, along with all over the US. :)  It's neat to be able to reach so many different people with a blog. :)

God has been very gracious to me.  He has allowed me to encourage others with my life experiences.  He is an awesome God who has comforted me during so many hurtful times in my life.  He h…

In just a week...

I can't believe a week from today I will be *ahem* 35.  That's half way to 40!  I sure don't feel like I'm going to be 35.  I have had a lot of people tell me they thought I was in my 20's. ;)  How sweet. :)  Honestly, every new birthday is a blessing. :) 

In my birthday post next week, I will share with you what I have learned in those 35 yrs. :)

I am reading "Streams in the Desert" right now and wanted to share with you today's devotional.  This book has really been a blessing to me...Thanks Pastor Cliff. :)

"I will make thee a new sharp threshing instrument." Isaiah 41:15


A bar of steel worth five dollars, when wrought into horseshoes, is worth ten dollars.  If made into needles, it is worth three hundred and fifty dollars; if into penknife blades, it is worth thirty-two thousand dollars; if into springs for watches it is worth two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.  What a drilling the poor bar must undergo to be worth this!  But the mor…

It's Saturday...

I've been sleeping on the couch since I got home from surgery.  I tried to sleep in our bed, but I toss and turn and it really hurt my abdomen, so I went back to the couch...at least for a little while longer...

Every night Hunter comes to sit there before I go to sleep and picks up the tiny cross I keep on the back of the couch.  He runs his fingers across the rough side and then the smooth side.  I tell him that the rough side represents hard times in our lives and the smooth side the good times.  We are ready for more of the smooth side. But, I know that God uses the hard times in our lives to refine us as gold.  He wants us to shine like His Son. 

Hunter was able to get out of the house and take a break from helping me.  He and the captain are going out to lunch and then to the grocery store.  I'm just relaxing (lol) and working on healing. :)  I think he is going to pick up Panera for me for supper tonight. My favorite! :)

Enjoy your Saturday...it's a great time of ye…

Having a hard time...

This recovery has been difficult for me...I have much joy knowing that I am now cancer free, but the pain and discomfort associated with the recovery is hard.  It's also hard to not be allowed to do anything.  I have been in this house for about 8 days and can't leave until Wed. My family has been so good at picking up the slack, but my poor husband is having a hard time doing the things I did like grocery shopping, etc.  Hunter has done a good job cleaning, but I can tell he is so over it. ;)  My mind is very spacey right now, probably due to lingering anesthesia...I don't feel like myself.  I feel like I can't focus or concentrate very well.  I try to say things and my sentence doesn't always make sense. :(  I am trying to remember that I am supposed to focus on healing and my recovery, but I feel like I'm missing out on life.  I can't even hug my husband real good because of the stitches, pain, etc.  Please pray for us.  This is a rough season for us men…

Belief, not understanding...

"Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?" (John 11:40).

Mary and Martha could not understand what their Lord was doing. Both of them said to Him, "Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died." Back of it all, we seem to read their thought: "Lord, we do not understand why you have stayed away so long. We do not understand how you could let death come to the man whom you loved. We do not understand how you could let sorrow and suffering ravage our lives when your presence might have stayed it all. Why did you not come? It is too late now, for already he has been dead four days!"

And to it all Jesus had but one great truth: "You may not understand; but I tell you if you believe, you will see."
Abraham could not understand why God should ask the sacrifice of the boy; but he trusted. And he saw the glory of God in his restoration to his love.

Moses could not understand why God shou…

Pathology report...

I got the final pathology report for my hysterectomy today...I am officially CANCER FREE! Yay! Praise God. :)  It is a relief to know...I am a cancer survivor! :)

Peaceful stillness...

When winds are raging o'er the upper oceans,
And billows wild contend with angry roar,
'Tis said, far down beneath the wild commotion,
That peaceful stillness reigneth evermore

Far, far beneath, the noise of tempest dieth,
And silver waves chime ever peacefully,
And no rude storm, how fierce soe'er it flieth,
Disturbs the Sabbath of that deeper sea

So to the heart that knows Thy love, O Purest,
There is a temple sacred evermore,
And all the babble of life's angry voices
Dies in hushed silence at it's peaceful door

Far, far away, the roar of passion dieth,
And loving thoughts rise calm and peacefully,
And no rude storm, how fierce soe'er it flieth,
Disturbs the soul that dwells, O Lord, in Thee.
~Harriet Beecher Stowe


I have had a lot to time to ponder things.  Being laid up from surgery can do that to ya. ;)  I am so thankful for His peace.  I am so thankful for His comfort during this recovery and healing process.  Our God is so good.  


I looked out the window t…

Slowly but surely and anniversary...

I am getting along.  It has been hard to just rest, but I need it.  I am still sore a bit and can't stand for very long in one place.  I've been walking the house and then resting afterwords.  I can't wait to be fully recovered. :)

I was told that the doctor said I had nice anatomy and that she could point out all my parts clearly to a student who was in the operating room. :)  That sorta made me laugh...Glad I could be of use while I was knocked out. LOL.  I go in for my follow up appt on the 27th to see how I am healing.  I hope it is well.

Today is another day of rest for me.  It is day 5 of recovery.  It's been nice to relax actually. :)  But, part of me feels guilty about the captain doing dishes and such.  Hunter has been a great help.  He did several loads of laundry yesterday.

Today is also the captain and I's 14th anniversary! :)  I am blessed to have a husband who is a provider, protector, and leader.  We have been through many ups and downs together and …

Recovery...

I am still in quite a bit of pain, but I am able to move around the house now.  Please pray that my recovery is smooth and that God would have mercy on me with this pain.  I will still praise Him if He doesn't ease this pain, but it would sure be nice. ;)

It's been nice spending some time with the captain, even if it's under these circumstances...And it's been nice to rest.  Doing some reading and watching some tv *gasp* :)  I like Survivor Man, Dukes of Hazzard, and stuff like that.  I normally don't watch tv until the captain comes home in the evening.  Well, I'm off to get some rest.  Hope you all had a great weekend.

God is going to test me with delays; and with the delays will come suffering, but through it all stands God's pledge: His new covenant with me in Christ, and His inviolable promise of every lesser blessing that I need. The delay and the suffering are part of the promised blessing; let me praise Him for them today; and let me wait on the …

I'm home...

I'm home and in some of the worst pain I've ever had...Worse than having my chest sawed open and worse than delivery Hunter with no pain meds.  Wow....I wasn't expecting to hurt this bad.  They did find endometriosis on the ovary we wanted to keep, so she had to take it, but left the other.  I know it will pass, but I just hope to receive mercy from our Father.  Going to bed now...

Tomorrow is the big day...(again)

This time tomorrow I should be out of surgery.  I will be so glad to get this all behind me.  It will be different this time, with a lot less people there with me.  It will only be my husband and I.  I reckon that's ok. :)  And yes, I know that God will be there with me, too.  He will cradle me while the doctor does her work.  How comforting is that! :)  I pray He touches my body to keep it settled after surgery, also.  I just want to feel ok when I wake up...I will carry a little wooden cross in my pocket as I venture into this next phase.

Sit still...

"And He shall bring it to pass."  Psalm 37:5

I once thought that after I prayed that is was my duty to do everything that I could do to bring the answer to pass.  He taught me a better way, and showed that my self-effort always hindered His working, and that when I prayed and definitely believed Him for anything, He wanted me to wait in the spirit of praise only do what He bade me.  It seems so unsafe to just sit still, and do nothing but trust the Lord; and the temptation to take the battle into our own hands is often tremendous.

We all know how impossible it is to rescue a drowning man who tries to help his rescuer. It is equally impossible for the Lord to fight out battles for us when we insist upon trying to fight them ourselves.  It is not that He will not, but He cannot. Our interference hinders His working.

Spiritual forces cannot work while earthly forces are active...
It takes God time to answer prayer.  We often fail to give God a chance in this respect.  It takes …

Getting ready (again)

I've been doing some things around the house today.  Surprisingly, I've had some energy despite the lack of food. (Clear liquids only today and tomorrow)  I cleaned the woodstove and painted it, did the dishes, vacuumed, and got the chickens all fed.  Tomorrow will be less work because it will be day two without food. :)  Hunter mopped the floors today.  The weather today was just beautiful.  Another day with the windows open. :)

I'm resting tonight and just cozying up on the couch enjoying the company of the captain.  He has been helpful the last few days and will be following my surgery.  We have been through a lot together in our almost 14 yrs of marriage (Oct 19th)  God has brought us through many things and brought us closer together. :)

I'm praying for good sleep as I need it.  Trying to keep up my strength for surgery.  Thank you for your continued prayers in that matter...

His way...

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"Cease meddling with God's plans and will.  You touch anything of His, and you mar the work.  You may move the hands of a clock to suit you, but you do not change the time; so you may hurry the unfolding of God's will, but you harm and do not help the work.  You can open a rosebud, but you spoil the flower.  Leave all to Him. Hands down. Thy will, not mine." ~Stephen Merritt

                  His Way
God bade me go when I would stay
(Twas cool within the wood);
I did not know the reason why.
I heard a boulder crashing by
Across the path where I stood.


He bade me stay when I would go;
"Thy will be done," I said
They found one day at early dawn,
Across the way I would have gone,
A serpent with a mangled head


No more I ask the reason why,
Although I may not see
The path ahead, His way I go;
For though I know not, He doth know,
And will choose safe paths for me.
~The Sunday School Times

It can be difficult for us to stay in His will.  I know for me, there are so many things I w…

Surgery date...

Finally got a date for the rescheduling of my surgery...it's this Thurs the 14th. :)  It will be morning or afternoon.  She is not sure what time yet. LOL  Wow...the uncertainty is always fun...not. :)  But, at least I get to get it done Thurs and won't have to suffer in this pain anymore that has been going on for 11 days. Oh my, it's been some of the worst pain I've had in this realm of my life.  Makes it very difficult to move and get things done without cringing.  I have a lot of cleaning to do and I need to get to the grocery store.  But, at least after this ordeal I will be able to rest.  I sure need it...This is the last step in getting this cancer behind me and moving forward. Lord, give me the strength to fight this battle...

*update on time...I have to be at the hospital at 6 am to have surgery at 7:30.  I'm so glad I got the 7:30 slot. I won't have to go through lunch again with no food. :)

To His glory...

Christ is building His kingdom with earth's broken things.  Men want only the strong, the successful, the victorious, the unbroken, in building their kingdoms; but God is the God of the unsuccessful, of those who have failed.  Heaven is filling with earth's broken lives, and there is no bruised reed that Christ cannot take and restore to glorious blessedness and beauty.  He ca take the life crushed by pain or sorrow and make it into a harp whose music shall be all praise.  He can lift earth's saddest failure up to heaven's glory. ~ J.R. Miller

We all have suffered at one time or another in our life.  I certainly have.  I have suffered from sexual abuse as a child, being made fun of for being too pale, suffered emotional stress in the beginning of our marriage, from physical pain and weakness, from losing loved ones, and more recently, suffering incredible amounts of physical pain for 11 days straight.  BUT, there is one who is close to the brokenhearted.  He suffered a…

Maple Walnut Cake...

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I made this cake yesterday for a bonfire at a friends house.  It is actually pretty good for you.  It is sweetened with dates and maple syrup.  Give it a try, you'll be glad you did. :) Since I have Celiac, I used a gluten free flour blend for it and it turned out great. :) 

You can find the recipe here...(you may have to copy and paste)
http://www.lifescript.com/Body/Food/Recipes/EatingWell/M/Maple_Walnut_Cake.aspx

There were a lot of people there at the bonfire/cookout.  It was nice to relax by the fire.  The smell of a campfire always comforts me.  There's just something about it...Hunter had a blast shooting off a potato gun and an air gun where you put empty bottles over it and it shoots them up into the air.  He helped entertain the little ones, too.

Tonight we are going to our Fall Festival at church.  Another great night to relax around the fire.  Hunter will have fun with the Monster truck ride. :)  And we of course will enjoy all the good food. ;)

If your weather …

Fun, fun!

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Today I got a special treat. :) I got to mark off one of the things off my bucket list....a motorcycle ride!  Thanks to a generous friend offering to help with this.  Here is a couple pics of my adventure...:)






It was a great ride...I can see how some people could fall asleep on the back.  The sound of the engine was very soothing to me.  I was glad I took him on his advice to put my hair in a ponytail...it was very windy. ;)  I've got a lot of hair and it sure would have been a mess if I left it down. lol.

I enjoyed seeing the country side via back of a motorcycle. :)  I was thankful for this blessing and other blessings today.  It was a good day...

Horseback riding...

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Yesterday Hunter had horseback riding.  He did well.  I enjoyed a little bit myself.  I really love it.  I love the sound of the leather creaking in the saddle as the horse walks.  It is a wonderful thing to me. :)  I thought I'd share some pictures of our riding...









I just love everything about riding.  I wish I could do it more...

"Some hearts, like evening primroses, open more beautifully in the shadows of life."

Bucket list...

To see Montana, go on a cruise, ride on a motorcycle, sleep next to a campfire all night again, go muddin', eat something I haven't tried yet, horseback ride more, squish my toes in mud. :)  This is just some of my bucket list...

Tomorrow I get to cross one of those off! :)  I get to ride on a motorcycle tomorrow! Yay! Someone has generously offered to take me on a ride and I can't wait.  I've never done it before.  I've road on dirt bikes and 4 wheelers, but never on the back of a motorcycle.  Part of me is a little scared, but excited at the same time.  Look out...I might want to learn to drive one next....lol...

I've got chores to do in the morning and then we are meeting at 2 to hit the road for a bit.  Looking forward to this new little adventure...

Both sorrow and joy...

I have been through the valley of weeping, The valley of sorrow and pain; But the "God of all comfort" was with me, At hand to uphold and sustain
As the earth needs the clouds and sunshine, Our souls need both sorrow and joy; So He places us oft in the furnace, The dross from the gold to destroy
When He leads thro' some valley of trouble, His omnipotent hand we trace; For the trials and sorrow He sends us, Are part of His lessons in grace
Oft we shrink from the purging and pruning, Forgetting the Husbandman knows That the deeper the cutting and paring, The richer the cluster that grows
Well He knows that affliction is needed; He has a wise purpose in view, And in the dark valley He whispers, "Hereafter Thou'lt know what I do"
So we'll follow wherever He leadeth, Let the path be dreary or bright; For we've proved that our God can give comfort; Our God can give songs in the night
If any of you suffer from an illness, physical pain, heartache, or a loss, I hope you can find t…

Good morning...

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I woke up to a beautiful morning.  Fog lingered in the field across the road.  This picture doesn't really capture it very well, but I tried. :)


Hunter has horseback riding today.  Unfortunately, it's not as close as it used to be.  It was about 10 min from us.  They had to move the horses and now they are about 40 min away. :( 

Here is a goofy picture of Hunter and our kitten Socks...


And of course I can't leave out our VERY lazy Doberman, Magnum...


Hoping to hear from the doctor today for a for sure surgery date.  I'm ready to get this over and done and then to be able to focus on recovery.  I have plenty to read now.  I also want to try and get some more recipes written down for a main menu I'm working on.

The leaves are starting to change.  They aren't as vibrant as they were last year, probably because of the warm weather we are having.  I enjoy their beauty all the same. :)  Soon we will be warming ourselves by the woodstove and "hibernating" un…

Gorgeous weather...

It's October 7th and the weather has been phenomenal.  It's supposed to be 80 today and Saturday is supposed to be 87.  The warm sunshine feels so good on my hurting body and my mending heart.  It's amazing what a little sunshine can do for ya. :) 

Trying to get a lot done around this house before my surgery again. I need to get the chicken coop clean, dust, vacuum, put up some more meals in the freezer, etc. 

Woke up in a lot of pain this morning.  It's a good reminder of the blessing this surgery will be.  Yesterday I felt like I didn't have much fight left in me.  I just felt like the wind was taken out of my sails and I had no desire to get strong for surgery.  This week has been emotionally difficult, but also joyous.  Today is better and I feel like I got some of my gumption back.  I received a book in the mail from a stranger in a way (we are friends on facebook and he is a pastor)  He has noticed that I have had a bit of a tough go and wanted to send me a b…

Biopsy results...

Wow...that was a longgg wait for results...ugh. Good news...there is no residual cancer or spread! :) Praise God! They will be doing surgery on the 14th tentatively to prevent the return of the cancer. If not that day, then the 21st. More waiting...Thank you for all the prayers! I will be glad to have all this cancer stuff behind me. :)  No chemo for me! :) 
It's been a heck of a week....

Stand up...

Stand up in the place where the dear Lord has put you, and there do your best. God gives us trial tests. He puts life before us as an antagonist face to face. Out of the buffeting of a serious conflict we are expected to grow strong. The tree that grows where tempests toss its boughs and bend its trunk often almost to breaking, is often more firmly rooted than the tree which grows in the sequestered valley where no storm ever brings stress or strain. The same is true of life. The grandest character is grown in hardship.

Waiting...

I'm still waiting for my biopsy results.  It looks like I should get them tomorrow sometime and then we can move forward with the rescheduling of my surgery.  Not sure when it will be, but hopefully this month.

I made some ham and potato soup tonight and it was scrumptious. :)  I will post the recipe tomorrow.  I'm still trying to get things ready for surgery (again) and taking advantage of the extra time I have.  I will be cleaning out the chicken coop this week.  I'd like to treat myself to a hair trim Thurs. We'll see....

Hunter has been a sweetheart to me as of late.  Yesterday he brought in the groceries and put them away for me without me even asking.  He's been trying to cheer everyone up around here. :) Such a gentleman.  He went to visit the widow up the road and took our little kitten with him to show her.  Pretty awesome for a 13 yr old I think. ;)

We will be burning in the woodstove soon.  The nights have been chilly.  But, it won't be this week.  T…

Contentment...

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Contentment "I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content" (Phil. 4:11).

Paul, denied of every comfort, wrote the above words in his dungeon. A story is told of a king who went into his garden one morning, and found everything withered and dying. He asked the oak that stood near the gate what the trouble was. He found it was sick of life and determined to die because it was not tall and beautiful like the pine. The pine was all out of heart because it could not bear grapes, like the vine. The vine was going to throw its life away because it could not stand erect and have as fine fruit as the peach tree. The geranium was fretting because it was not tall and fragrant like the lilac; and so on all through the garden. Coming to a heart's-ease, he found its bright face lifted as cheery as ever. "Well, heart's-ease, I'm glad, amidst all this discouragement, to find one brave little flower. You do not seem to be the least disheartene…

A gentle woman...

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"A gentle and quiet spirit is not only imperishable; it is precious in the sight of God. It's also one of the hardest qualities to cultivate. Far from a sign of weakness, a gentle and quiet spirit is the sign of a woman who is strong in faith, mind and character."

---From the book So Much More by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin

My heart is still heavy...

My heart is still heavy this morning.  I am just having a hard time wrapping my mind around what happened.  I went from having a relationship with my "dad" with laughter, encouragement, being there for my surgery on Thurs (which meant a lot) and finally feeling comfortable enough to talk to him, to him being cut out of our life without any warning.  Just broke off.  No explanation as to why it happened.  Just that the relationship he had with all of us was not allowed to continue if he wanted to save his marriage.  I'm assuming she didn't approve anymore and that was the end of that.  So sad.  Even if she changes her mind again, my husband said there is no way for our sanity that we could ever resume a relationship with him in fear of being broken again.  He is trying to protect me.  I think I do need protected.  I guess I was naive and never saw this coming again.

This is where I have to dig down deep to find some contentment in this situation, because I am not at a…

How to be a lady...

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Sometimes I hate adding words to these beautiful images like the one above because I feel the picture portrays so much of what I'd like to say already!

But it is important to share the complete picture with you on what is is to be a lady and how to be one. This will be the first of many posts regarding this subject as I feel this subject desperately needs to be revived today and not only that but I do believe there are vast amounts of women who'd in their hearts desire to be so.

Being lady-like has two realms---the physical and the interior. On the physical side---we should seek to:

1. Carry ourselves with good posture not slouching.
2. Dress modestly.
3. Look clean and well kept (hair, nails, etc).
4. Clothes in good repair.
5. Dress femininely.
6. Smell lovely.
7. Peaceful countenance and joyful demeanor.



There are many ways to improve oneself in learning to become more ladylike. Walking with a book on your head helps you to learn to walk more gracefully. There ar…

What to do with a broken heart?

Sigh...my heart is broken today.  A relationship that was dear to me has been cut off.  I have had a lot of things in my cup that I don't like, but I will remain strong in saying that what's in my cup isn't always pleasant or good, but the hand that holds it, is good.  I just hate feeling like I was punched in the stomach out of nowhere...

I will miss the contact, love, wisdom, and encouragement.  I will let Him help me through this just like I let Him help me with my health.  I am sorry that he won't be there for my next surgery with encouragement and support.  It was such a gift to me for him to be there for the last one.

God is near the brokenhearted.  Rest in Him, as will I...

Lazy day...

It's Saturday and it's raining. :(  We were going to try and go garage saling, but with the rain, we might not be able to.  Maybe it will clear up in a bit...

Still very tired today...but the good news is that I have been sleeping well at night ever since getting anesthesia for the biopsies. lol.  I even slept unitl 8 this morning *gasp* ;) 

I guess I am just going to take advantage of the tiredness and rest most of the day.  I hope everyone enjoys their weekend. :)  I'm sure gonna try. :)

SURGERY UPDATE....

I went yesterday to have my hysterectomy. I was to have a biopsy first in the OR and check to see if there was any residual cancer or if it spread. They were to look at it right then and if it was positive, they were not going to proceed and send me to Peoria to a gyn/onc, if it was negative, she would go ahead with the LAVH.(Laparoscopiclly assisted vaginal hysterectomy)They did the biopsy and the pathologist decided right then that he didn't want to look at it in the OR and to instead take his time looking at it and have the results by Mon. (hopefully) So, unfortunately I was not able to have surgery yesterday because we didn't have any results. :( I'm not sure when surgery will be now, it depends on the results of the biopsy. Talk about a lesson in contentment....

There were a lot of lessons in patience and contentment yesterday.  I will admit, when I woke up from the biopsy and knew that they had not taken what I went there for, I started to cry.…