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Showing posts from June, 2010

Why do I torture myself?

Every Spring I get all excited about having a garden. As soon as the weather has a hint of warmth in it, I start dreaming. I dream about how wonderful and full my beans will be and how big my tomatoes will be...it always ends up a dream. :(

I start with good intentions. The ground is tilled and made ready. I get the plants and seeds and plant with wonderful visions of providing good food for my family.

Then it happens...the rains, the deer, the heat...Try as I may I just don't have the strength to fight all those. I watch in horror as my dream becomes grass...It's sad, really. I don't even have weeds, just grass that springs up quickly and spreads itself all across my big garden taking over and making it unrecognizable.

We have big plans for next years garden...black plastic and compost. We shall see. For now, I will glean from it what I can and dream about next years bounty.

Hope you all are having a better time in your gardens...

When God speaks...

I thank you in advance for getting through this post. It reveals an ugly side of me, one that I hadn't really seen until God revealed it. I have eyes that see, but was too afraid to look. He has spoken to me on two separate occasions in the last two weeks...very clearly. Here are the two different times and I'll explain as best I can.

Friday....I take Hunter to horseback riding lessons every Friday. He has had several lessons, but on this particular lesson, God decided to open my eyes so that I may see. His instructor is wonderful. I have always thought so. But, on this particular day as I sat in the barn and watched her teach him, I was overwhelmed to tears. (Kinda embarrassing) You see God was revealing to me an ugly side of me and it hurt. I have never seen anyone be as patient as this woman is to Hunter. Her voice is soft, kind, and articulate. There is never frustration in her voice. She laughs with him. She was teaching him how to clean hooves and told him wh…

Thankful for His comfort...

It's been a rough night...I would appreciate any prayers. God comforts us in our suffering and I am so thankful He does. My husband made a tough decision tonight regarding a relationship we have had and it broke our hearts. God will have to heal my heart because it's broken...I know He can mend it and I know that this relationship if not here, will be continued in glory. I just wish I had more time with this relationship here in the flesh. I cry now, but with God and the help of my husband, we will move past the pain. The pain will cease someday, but the love we have will never cease. It will always be...

Feeling better...

Yesterday was a cooler, albeit still hot day, and it helped with me feeling better. I made some snickers candy bars, cleaned up the house, volunteered at the gluten free store, and finished a book.

Last night we did some target shooting with my brothers, their fiances, my mom, Hunter, and Ryan. It was pretty fun. My older younger brother leaves today back for California. He was talking about talking his fiance into moving here. Why on earth he'd want to move back to central Illinois is beyond me. I guess he just wants to be close to family. I think it's been weighing on them since our step-dad was killed. I just know though that after a while of living here, they would probably wonder why they came to live here in this state. ;)

Hunter has horseback riding lessons today and he's excited to wear his cowboy boots. He really likes riding and I really like it for him. :)

I'm hoping to get outside while I can to get some weed whacking done. It's very much neede…

Hot Summer days...

It has been very hot and humid here for what seems like weeks. Everyday is muggy to where you feel like you're breathing water instead of drinking it. ;) It has taken a toll on my health a bit. I have become weaker and exhausted. My garden has suffered due to all the rain and heat we've had to which I haven't been able to get out in it and weed. I did do some last night, but I could only do 1 1/2 rows before I got extremely weak and had to go inside. :( The deer ate a lot of our plants and it's been so discouraging.

Today is going to be filled with resting and reading...I told Ryan yesterday that if there was anything they could do for me at the hospital, I would go. I haven't felt like I needed to be admitted in a long time. I'm praying this passes soon and I have my strength back. I've been fighting a migraine for 3 days and my brain is so scattered. I know it will get better....I just hope it's sooner than later. :)

Well, I'm going to go …

Honoring Fathers....

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A Little Girl Needs a Daddy

A little girl needs Daddy
For many, many things:
Like holding her high off the ground
Where the sunlight sings!
Like being the deep music
That tells her all is right
When she awakens frantic with
The terrors of the night.
Like being the great mountain
That rises in her heart
And shows her how she might get home
When all else falls apart.
Like giving her the love
That is her sea and air,
So diving deep or soaring high
She'll always find him there.
I understand that not everyone has a perfect relationship with their father, and this day actually stirs up feelings of bitterness, hopelessness or anger---you are not alone. Fathers are imperfect---sinners---like the rest of us. Perhaps you were wronged, abused or even abandoned.
Then I must point you to my heavenly Father---the Father who" is father to the fatherless" (Ps 68:5) and will "never leave you or forsake you" (Deut. 31:8) and whom "binds up the hearts of the broken-hearted&quo…

Get Behind Me Satan...

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"Get behind me Satan!" he said, "You do not have in mind the things of God but the things of man." -Mark 8:33b

What kinds of things distract a woman of God?

A bigger home, materialism, covetousness, vanity, discontentment are a few.

We are distracted with many frivolous things of this world all the while bombarded by the media and culture around us to 'have it all'. We are 21st century Eves who crave what we should not.

Buy me, buy me, scream the ads that come in our mailbox---everything from craftily designed television commercials, smooth talking telemarketers, glossy enticing magazines and tempting Craigslist classifieds are demanding we spend our money in the pursuit of their shallow and fleeting happiness.

But to 'have it all' for the woman of God contradicts the definition the world dictates to us. In fact, it is the opposite.

And what things should a woman of God desire? What are the things of God that we need to chase after as the …

Doing what is best...

Our son Hunter is very technology savvy. My mom has bought him most all of his technical devises. He has an xbox, ipod touch, laptop, cell phone, etc. But, there is a problem. He has lost himself in all of it. He no longer reads books, creates things, plays much outside, or does much photography lately....he'd rather play video games. It breaks my heart...

So yesterday my husband put a stop to it. We are selling our xbox and he is limited on his laptop and ipod touch. He was NOT happy about this. He thought we were being unreasonable. We explained to him that we were doing what was best for him. He needed more time to be a boy and do things outside and with his friends. He needed more focus to be able to seek the Lord and what He wants for him. Taking away the drudgery of the video games and the negative affect on his brain (laziness, inability to concentrate, and lack of nurturing it) is going to help him become a strong, focused man of integrity when he gets older.

Te…

Whatever is Noble..The Realm of Entertainment..

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Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Phillipians 4:8

"See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ." Colossians 2:8

As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy." (1 Peter 1:13-16)

The realm of entertainment is indeed a hot topic among Christians today. There are those who feel strongly that they need to stay in touch with culture and watch the newest movies to keep in touch and abreast with their culture and then there are those who openly teach about the dangers and false philosophies of entertainme…

Finally slowing down...

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I have nowhere to go today. :) I don't have to run into town for the store or church or anything else. :) I get to stay home and SEW. Which is MUCH needed. I'm running out of clothes/skirts and desperately need to make some. I also didn't get to putting the laundry away yesterday, so I can catch up on that. I also don't have to go anywhere tomorrow either. :) I think I finally got my schedule balanced out and it feels so good. :)

Yesterday I canned some green beans and made a delicious Fresh Strawberry Cake. It turned out very tasty even though it was gluten free. :)


I'm feeling back to myself...simple, ole fashioned, and productive. So much better than busy, stressed, and overwhelmed. :) It is just such a blessing...

I pray everyone enjoys their day and are able to take time to slow down, breathe, and ponder in their hearts what God has been saying to them. :)

A Wise Mother Guards Her Time....

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She was busy running the women's ministry at church. She would rush home and get ready for her MOPS meeting and then later in the day she knew she would somehow try to fit in the desperately needed shopping trip to host the monthly bible study in her home. She also had to run Johnny to soccer practice and little Suzy to her ballet class. She had forgotten to make dinner again and hubby would be home soon not to mention she hadn't touched the growing pile of laundry for days. She was tired, overwhelmed, and burnt out.

With all these seemingly good activites, she felt a gnawing at her soul. She had not read to her children for months, and yesterday she had yelled at her husband because she felt burdened by all the housework that she had to do when she finally did make it home from being out. She sunk despairingly down into her chair and saw an unfinished sewing project laying in a basket nearby and wondered when she would ever have time to even think about when she…

Big Rocks...

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In the middle of the lecture the presenter pulled out a wide-mouth jar and placed it on the table, aside to some fist-sized rocks.After filling the jar to the top with rocks he asked, “Is the jar full?”People could see that no more rocks would fit, so they replied, “Yes!”“Not so fast,” he cautioned. He then got some gravel from under the table and added it to the jar, filling the spaces between the rocks. Again, he asked, “Is the jar full?”This time the students replied “Probably not.”The presenter then reached a bucket of sand below the table, and dumped it on the jar, filling the spaces between the rocks and the gravel. Once again he asked “Is the jar full?”“No!”, the students shouted.Finally, he grabbed a pitcher of water and filled the jar completely, asking to the public what they could learn from that illustration.One of the participants answered, “If you work at it, you can always fit more into your life.”“No,” said the presenter. “The point is, if you don’t put the bi…

The True Wife's Kingdom...

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Home is the true wife's kingdom.

Very largely does the wife hold in her hands, as a sacred trust, the happiness and the highest good of the hearts that nestle there. In the last analysis, home happiness depends on the wife.
Her spirit gives the home its atmosphere.Her hands fashion its beauty.Her heart makes its love.And the end is so worthy, so noble, so divine, that no woman who has been called to be a wife, and has listened to the call, should consider any price too great to pay, to be . . .

the light,
the joy,
the blessing,
the inspiration,
of a home.

The woman who makes a sweet, beautiful home, filling it with love and prayer and purity, is doing something better than anything else her hands could find to do beneath the skies.

A true mother is one of the holiest secrets of home happiness.

God sends many beautiful things to this world,

many noble gifts;

but no blessing is richer than that which He bestows

in amother

who has learned love's lessons well,

and has realized s…

Disheartened...

We had my brother and his girlfriend over for supper last night. It was good catching up with him since I hadn't seen him since soon after my dad was killed. I could see through his weak smile that he was hurting inside. He said he feels so lost since our dad died. He was just starting to build some deeper trust with him and then he suddenly was killed. I think it has left a hole in him.

He said he had talked to our real dad after his heart attack. I asked him if he had mentioned me at all, and he said no he never asked about me. :( I don't know why I thought maybe he would have asked my brother how I have been or something. I just thought maybe....

The most disheartening part of the evening though was my brother telling me he doesn't believe in God anymore. That he doesn't believe in anything. That we only exist here and there is no God or devil. He said no one could answer his questions he had and said people just say we will never fully understand God, blah…

Spiritual Pride...

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Chanin shared with me a quote from Jonathon Edwards regarding spiritual pride:

"Proud people tend to speak of other's sins, the miserable delusion of hypocrites, the deadness of some saints with bitterness, or the opposition to holiness of many believers. Pure Christian humility, however, is silent about the sins of others, or speaks of them with grief and pity. The spiritually proud person finds fault with other saints for their lack of progress in grace, while the humble Christian sees so much evil in his own heart, and is so concerned about it, that he is not apt to be very busy with other hearts. He complains most of himself and his own spiritual coldness and readily hopes that most everybody has more love and thankfulness to God than he."

"One under the influence of spiritual pride is more apt to instruct others than to ask questions. Such a person naturally puts on the airs of a master. The eminently humble Christian thinks he needs help from every…