He putteth forth...
"He putteth forth his own sheep" (John10:4).
Oh, this is bitter work for Him and us--bitter for us to go, but equally bitter for Him to cause us pain; yet it must be done. It would not be conducive to our true welfare to stay always in one happy and comfortable lot. He therefore puts us forth. The fold is deserted, that the sheep may wander over the bracing mountain slope. The laborers must be thrust out into the harvest, else the golden grain would spoil.
Take heart! it could not be better to stay when He determines otherwise; and if the loving hand of our Lord puts us forth, it must be well. On, in His name, to green pastures and still waters and mountain heights! He goeth before thee. Whatever awaits us is encountered first by Him. Faith's eye can always discern His majestic presence in front; and when that cannot be seen, it is dangerous to move forward. Bind this comfort to your heart, that the Savior has tried for Himself all the experiences through which He asks you to pass; and He would not ask you to pass through them unless He was sure that they were not too difficult for your feet, or too trying for your strength.
This is the Blessed Life--not anxious to see far in front, nor careful about the next step, not eager to choose the path, nor weighted with the heavy responsibilities of the future, but quietly following behind the Shepherd, one step at a time.
~Streams in the Desert
Feeling much better this morning. I got some sleep last night, which always helps. Also had a good talk with the captain. I am realizing that I put a lot of pressure on myself, which isn't very productive in my walk. I have slowed down my brain to focus on things He has laid on my heart (see 14 marks of a wise woman), to hold on to the love I do have from so many people in my life, to not think about the pain my mom has caused, to continue to speak truth to myself, and to be an encouragement to others. That is my mission in this season of my life.