My step-dad was killed 3 days after my 31st birthday (4 yrs ago). I miss him, too. I miss his chuckle and his presence. I always felt secure when I was near him.
I often wonder what my real dad is doing. He doesn't want me or any contact with me. For no fault of my own. I did nothing. Just was born.
For some reason I have yet to discover (aside from God wanting to be my only Father) why God has allowed me to be fatherless. Oh how hard it is to not have any comfort from a dad. My heart still aches to have a dad. God fills the cracks in my heart that life has put there. He is my Father, yes, but there is still a fleshly cry in my heart for an earthly daddy. But, I swallow back the tears hard, and trust that God has allowed all this for a purpose. He must think I'm strong enough for repeated broken hearts.
The truth is I'm not. But, He is.