Thursday, November 3, 2011
I had to stop the treatments early. I only got two treatments in before my body had a reaction to it. I got extremely nauseous and then came the horrible migraine. It feels like your brain is swelling and throbbing against your skull with searing pain to boot. Unbelievable pain. (found out it's called aseptic meningitis, not contagious like bacterial meningitis) I am not a pain pill person...no pain meds with giving birth or when I had my open chest surgery, but this was different. They gave me Vicodin and Morphine to no avail. Nothing worked. The pain was relentless and I couldn't take it. I could suffer like that no longer. So treatment was stopped and I came home last night.
The pain has subsided some and is tolerable now. Waiting for the effects of the treatment to wear off. Unfortunately, because I could not do the treatment, getting better will take longer. We are going to try a small dose of chemo in pill form called Cellcept next week and if tolerated will take 3 to 8 months to see any improvement in strength. My family has been great and so thankful for a husband who loves me and is supportive.
God and I had some great talks while in the hospital. I had no idea I was undermining Him. He made it clear that He gives me the strength I need for each day and no more. Well, I was taking what He gave me and thinking it was not enough and pushing past what He provided and then paying for it. He said if He gives me strength enough to get the dishes done that day then that's what He wanted me to accomplish that day and then rest. If He gives me strength enough for dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc, then that's what He wanted me to accomplish that day and then rest. Make sense? Instead of thinking just getting the dishes done was ok, I though surely God meant to give me more strength to get more done. So I tried to do more without His blessing...doesn't work out too well. ;)
Hoping to be have some strength for the holidays. I love to bake for my family and praying for energy and strength in my arms to do so. I love to bless them that way. The smell in the house is an added bonus. :) I love this time of year. It's slower, cozier, peaceful, etc.
I still have a lingering headache, but it's manageable. I thank you all for your prayers. Please continue to pray for me and that the pain will be gone for good and that the medicine I start next week will be tolerable. Blessings to you!