Monday, November 21, 2011
It's a new day!
I just want to say how much I love my husband. :) This past weekend he really helped me get through a rough time with coming to terms with my disease...Myasthenia Gravis. You see, in the past, I would pretend not to have this disease and do as I pleased. I would do whatever I wanted and would push myself hard. Only in the evenings would I then be weak and tired. But that is not the case anymore...
I am weak and tired as soon as I wake up in the morning. There is no trying to pretend I don't have this disease...even though I've had it for 14 yrs now. There is also no denying it's progression.
My husband told me not to pretend I don't have this disease anymore, but rather REMEMBER I have it and in so doing be a better steward my strength and time. It's part of who I am.
I have started my sm dose chemo and so far have just had stomach pain, no nausea and a bit of heart issues with it, too. Nothing to worry about yet. Praying I will be able to stay on this medicine and get some benefit from it in a few months. I increase the dosage on Wednesday for a week and increase again in a week.
My husband helped me realize that my bad attitude was coming from not dealing with this disease properly and deep down I was bitter about it and it was coming out in different ways. Not good ways. So now that I have dealt with it properly, my attitude is so much better. :) I have Myasthenia Gravis. That's just the way it is and yes I must change some of the things I do now, but that's ok. It's a new normal. I am content. God has reminded me of His love, His provision, His help, and His mercy.